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What is the What, Dave Eggers | on the west coast Tuesday. 6.2.09 11:28 pm I haven't updated since I've been here, and that's not a mistake. There comes a need to disconnect and not just rethink...but unthink. At home things are bad. There's no work, and prices just keep creeping upwards. We can no longer afford groceries if we pay PECO, but PECO will shut us off again if we don't pay every month on time. The moment we begin to break even something else collapses. We've been so close at times that we actually considered planning this wedding to happen in March 2010. The court date for our house is Friday. We were hoping to have our tax return by then to pay what we owe. Even if we could pay it off at this point we would be right back in this hole next month. Here, things are not so bad...and it makes me homesick. There are some people here I miss dearly, and there never seems to be enough time. I love Ryan's family to death, but I miss being near MY family when things fall apart. Lately, things fall apart on a daily basis. I miss familiar towns and sights. Maybe I just miss a simpler time in my life, a time when there was still hope and faith that I could do anything. At what point in our lives do we stop being omnipotent? When did I lose my invincibility? I've had a fantastic week showing Ryan my first home. He doesn't always see the beauty or importance, and that's when I know I'm merely waxing sentimental. He is my emotional Richter scale. We've been to Berkeley, Sausalito, SF, and the flea market. He's participated in endless hours of virtual carnage with my father, and it makes me smile that they get along so well. It also makes me slightly sad because I know my dad doesn't have a lot of reliable friends in his life. I know he gets lonely, and it makes me want to stay.We went to a party at Dominick and Wendy's last weekend, and I realized how much I've fallen behind and out of the loop. I also know how much it would hurt Ryan to feel the same. I know when I agreed to marry him that it may mean settling down in PA. He wants to leave too, but there are a lot of mitigating circumstances. So, that's where we are...we could use some good thoughts... 0 Comments.
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