im so fucking tired!
and all i can do is lie there, listening to him snore, grinding my teeth....not sleeping.
gah!
*sigh*

lauren sent me a message saying she's stuck at the airport because she's short on parking garage money. shes understandably frustrated and worried, and im worried for her, and i wish i could say im sorry... im sorry for every time shes picked me up which meant she had to pay for gas sooner, im sorry everyone i know at the airport is already gone for the night, im sorry septa stops trains especially on sundays, im sorry i cant drive to save my life, im sorry i cant go back in time and not make you spend an extra $2, im sorry i couldnt make the internet fare last another 12 hours, im sorry im sorry im sorry....im sorry i was only available to yell at via text message at 1am because i care, and i offered as much help as i could...im sorry that wasnt good enough.

and no...im never good enough.
not a good enough friend
not a good enough girlfriend
not a good enough photographer
not a good enough singer
not a good enough writer
not a good enough employee
not a good enough daughter, granddaughter
not smart enough, skinny enough, healthy enough, happy enough...
unreliable, undependable, inconsistent, inevitably a failure...
ya, thats me...

and i. can't. sleep.

Categories: insomnia [t]

you're a good person...it's just unfortunate things happen sometimes...

I'm sorry
» lazypuppy on 2007-01-08 01:57:07

It's not you, it's just the way things go sometimes that make us feel that way. Hope you'll feel better. A hot shower would help if you can't sleep.. The higher the tempreture, the better, just make sure you don't burn yourself.
» Nuttz on 2007-01-08 11:41:29

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